Here are photos of the bagpipers outside Trinity Church in Canaseraga playing for Pop’s funeral, courtesy of Peggy Ann Glaister. Pop always liked the sound of the pipes and they were the perfect punctuation to a celebration of his life.

As a follow-on to the announcement of my mother assuming the role of Warden at Trinity Church in Canaseraga, here is a photo of Trinity taken by Peggy Ann Glaister on the morning of of Pop’s funeral. I had looked online for pictures to include with my earlier posts about Trinity, but could find none. Thank you Peggy for sharing them with us.

Trinity Episcopal Church was organized July 22, 1857. The corner-stone of the church building was placed Sept. 26, 1864, and the edifice, built at a cost of $8,000, was dedicated Dec. 14, 1865. A rectory was built later at a cost of $1,500.

My mother was asked by Howard Shay the other day if she would be willing to assume the role of Warden of Trinity Church in Canaseraga, the post left vacant by my father’s passing. She said she would think about it for a while, and yesterday morning she gave Howard the answer “Yes” that he was hoping for. My mother will make a fine (and I might add, exceptionally well organized) Warden. My father would certainly approve.

Congratulations to Carol Topping on her new role! I know she will make a huge difference.

Congratulations to Trinity Church on your new Warden! You have snagged a great lady and she will serve you well.

Pop’s funeral was the perfect celebration of his life. This is precisely what he would have wanted. His choice of Trinity Church in Canaseraga was ideal, as it was his daily place of worship and thus a fitting and wholly appropriate venue. The church was filled nearly to capacity, but not so much that those in attendance were left without seats. Pop has always championed the underdog, and Trinity, with its congregation advancing in age and declining in size and financial resources, is a prime target for closure by the diocese. Pop’s involvement with Trinity as its Warden was both as much about receiving nourishment from participating in something good and right, as it was about helping a small parish “on the ropes” avoid closure amidst declining attendance and dwindling support from the diocese for Trinity’s role as a rural outpost of the Episcopal Church.

The weather-beaten exterior of the beautiful old church stood in sharp contrast to the vibrant sound of the quartet of bagpipers and the energy of the celebration occurring inside. Howard Shay and his family, one of the longstanding pillars of Trinity for many, many years, was a good friend of my father. Howard and my father stood together in a brotherhood of solidarity; their mission being to protect and sustain Trinity. Thank you Howard for your friendship and caring, and your regular calls during Pop’s illness to inquire about how he and our family were doing. I am confident Howard will continue to be an integral force at Trinity, fed by the strength of his faith, and I would also suspect a loving memory of my father.

The service was absolutely beautiful and the celebrants delivered a magnificent tribute to my father, his life, and his faith. I can attest that the people who knew and loved him were plentiful in attendance and moved by the experience. As the sound of the bagpipes faded, the funeral procession made its way to the cemetery for the Rite of Committal, where the bagpipes resumed and the celebration continued. Below are pictures of the bagpipers at Rural Cemetery in Hornell, courtesy of David Lind.

The celebration concluded with the final interment of Pop’s ashes into a hole in the ground in the Topping family plot. Everybody in the crowd was then encouraged to throw a bit of dirt on the cremains box to ceremonially send Pop off on his journey from the bounds of the physical earth and into the arms of God. Farewell Pop, you are well loved and now at peace, and you will never be forgotten.

Pop’s obituary in the Rochester D&C appeared yesterday and can be viewed at Stan Topping Obituary - Rochester Democrat & Chronicle. There will also be obituaries in the Parry Sound North Star and the Parry Sound Beacon Star in the next few days. Maps and directions to Trinity Church in Canaseraga where his funeral will be held tomorrow can be found by following these links: Stan Topping Funeral Directions - Microsoft Word Document and Stan Topping Funeral Directions - PDF Format.

As my mom would say, “Today is a new day.” Our hearts are heavy as we prepare for Pop’s funeral, but we are nourished by the incredible outpouring of love and support from family and friends. A perfect example of this was a letter we received from a dear old friend Phillip Kerman, who resides in Portland, Oregon.

Phillip and I attended college at RIT together many moons ago. Although we live on opposite sides of the country, Phillip makes a yearly trip to the Rochester area and usually stays at our house so we see each other about once a year. Phillip is very bright, inquisitive, and quite an unusual character. While in college, he rode his bicycle solo across the United States from Portland to Rochester. He also used to jet around campus (and almost anywhere else) on his skateboard, and made a big impression on Pop when he rode his skateboard about 10 miles from RIT to our home in downtown Rochester to share in a Thanksgiving celebration with our family. What really blew our minds was that he did this in about 20 minutes!

Anyway, I spoke with Phillip on the phone last night and thanked him for his note. I also asked his permission to reprint it here on the blog, as it captures the very essence of my father. Phil’s note dated 6 July 06 follows:

Dear Lance, Suzanne, Kiera, and Ian,I’m really sad and sorry about your dad/granddad. I followed the blog off and on over the last few days. When I read it today it made me really sad – but it was good that I got to experience the sadness nearly the same time as you.I remember Stan quite well. I probably would never have learned about such interesting topics as “moth man” if it wasn’t for him. I remember him from a Halloween party or two also. He strikes me as “big” in more than just his size. I’m sure his memory will remain similarly. No one fades away when they’re gone, but in his case I think your love for him will make him stay forever.

I just returned from a long, productive day in Hornell where we met with the funeral director and worked out all the details of the funeral and interment of our father. We discussed even the minutest details about how everything would work, and I think my mom, my sister, and I are satisfied that things are as they should be and that my father would be pleased. We also met with three different priests and hammered out the specifics of the funeral service itself; including readings, music, prayers, and the specific roles people would be playing. The funeral service will be held at Trinity Church in Canaseraga, NY on Friday, July 14th at 11:00 AM. Trinity is located on North Church Street in Canaseraga. It’s a small parish which my parents have attended religiously (pun intended) for the last few years, and my father has been the Warden there.

Death is such a complicated thing. We spent time today writing an obituary, deciding the specifics of handling ashes, determining transportation for the funeral, and discussing the myriad of other details that go into planning such an occasion. My father was a very practical man and didn’t care much about what happened after he died. When asked about how he wanted a funeral service or interment handled, he would reply with something like, “I don’t really care, because I’ll be dead.” The one thing that he did mention many times was that he wanted to have bagpipers at his funeral. The pomp and circumstance of bagpipers in their kilts, with the magical, but somewhat eerie sound of pipes wailing away as people mourned, has always appealed to Pop. So bagpipers it is.

As expected, my mother and the rest of our family are deeply affected by our loss. Everyone seems to be doing relatively well given the situation, but we are all very weary from the experience. We are still in a phase where the thought of Pop’s death unexpected catches you off guard and hits you, and before you know it you are overcome by sadness. Mom has been a trouper and instinctively redirects her sorrow to planning and getting things done, but these are only temporary distractions from the reality of what has happened. Rest well tonight, Mom. We love you. Tomorrow is a new day.